Photo by Lars Niki/Getty Images for Refinery29’s 29Rooms
Well everyone, tomorrow is the big day. Over 40 years later, the final movie in the Skywalker saga will draw to a close. Star Wars Episode IX: The Rise Of Skywalker debuts Thursday night. Earlier this week, I went through my top 5 things I want to see in the final film of the saga. Today, I present to you my top 5 things I do NOT want to see. While there won’t be any spoilers in this list, I will be discussing theories about what we may see.
1. Any mention of Midichlorians
This is right up at the top of my list, and I’ve got to be honest, I’m worried about this one. I do believe we’re going to learn who Rey’s parents are and I think the midichlorians will be involved. For those who don’t read the comics (which are canon), the secret of Anakin’s birth had been revealed. Then-Senator Palpatine manipulated the midichlorians in Shmi Skywalker to cause her virgin birth. I’m worried we may be finding out something similar happened with Rey’s conception. I’m hopeful that won’t be the case, but prepare yourselves.
2. The Whills
In the earliest drafts of A New Hope, the concept of the force was referred to as the Whills. Later, they became an ancient race of powerful force-users that chronicled the history of the galaxy. Believe me when I tell you it all sounds better in theory than it was in practice. Most recently, Qui-Gon Jin unearthed an ancient technique of the Whills to live on after death. Sound familiar? It should. This is the technique many of our favorite Jedi masters use to become force ghosts.
And all of that is fine. But we do not need this movie to take the time to explain the Whills to us, and how they fit into the grand scheme of things. Everyone already accepts that Jedi can become force ghosts, just go with that.
3. The Yuuzhan Vong
I think we’re pretty safe on this one, but I have to say it just in case. For those who haven’t delved into the Extended Universe, congratulations! You’ve made good life decisions. The rest of us however, had to read all about the Borg. I mean the Yuuzhan Vong.
They were a species of alien that viewed all technology and machinery as heretical. Their innovations were through genetics, to the point that they created organic spaceships capable of light speed travel. They also couldn’t be sensed in the force, although if memory serves, things like force-pushes still worked on them.
Their invasion of the galaxy caused the death of trillions of beings before their leadership was eventually killed by Luke Skywalker and Jacen Solo. I don’t think they would reveal the Yuuzhan Vong this late in the saga, but I’m worried they might be teased at for what comes next.
4. Another Super Weapon
Let me be clear, there has to be SOMETHING. You cannot have Emperor Palpatine hiding away for 20 or 30 years and just show back up with his force lightning and charming cackle. I just don’t want it to be another big planet-sized space station that blows up star systems.
I also don’t want it to be something stupid like the Sun-Crusher. Don’t know what that is? Count yourself lucky. Or Google it to find out, but don’t blame me when you don’t like what you see. I’ve heard theories that the giant Star Destroyer fleet we’ve seen in the trailer will each have a Death Star cannon mounted on them. If that’s the case, I like that idea. Maybe it’s Palpatine’s Doomsday Fleet and in a final fit of “If I can’t have it, no one will!” he wants to destroy everything.
5. Darth Plagueis
We’re nine movies in. We don’t need a brand new big-bad to have masterminded everything. You’ve revealed Emperor Palpatine will be returning, and he works fine as the villain for the saga. I’m worried we’ll get a call-back to the third film where we first learned the tragedy of Darth Plagueis the Wise. They’ve set it up by mentioning that Darth Plagueis could prevent people from dying, and that’s really just the dark side equivalent of the force ghost.
Overall, I like Darth Plagueis as a concept. However, we don’t need to see him nine movies and over 40 years into the saga. Let Palpatine show up, chew some scenery, do his things, and let’s all go home with a good feeling in our hearts.
And that’s all I’ve got guys. We’re a day away from The Rise of Skywalker. I’m so nervous and yet so excited to see how it all ends. Do yourselves a favor, don’t read reviews or reactions until you see it. The Star Wars fan base is so incredibly large, across so many demographics, that no movie is going to please everyone. It simply cannot happen. So yes, it’ll have some mixed reviews. Go see it, form your opinion, and don’t let anyone tell you it’s wrong.